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Friday Flashback: High School Heartbreak

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Imagine from: http://dontdatethatdude.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/heartbreak2.jpg

There’s one part if teen angst we probably all remember will acrid clarity: heartbreak. Whether it was unrequited love or the pain of having your heart stomped to pieces and ground into the sidewalk cracks, we’ve all been there. I have one of each, but the second story is far more interesting. (First story: My first high school crush – who I drooled over for about six months – turned out to be gay and I was the only one who couldn't see it coming. The end.)

After getting over crush #1, I fell hard for a junior (I was but a lowly freshman). To protect the names of the not-so-innocent, we’ll call him Donny. Donny was smart, funny, talented, marginally athletic, and liked Classic Rock. We dated for the next two years until he graduated. He told me he’d love me forever and I used to daydream in French class about marrying him in a white gown and carrying red roses. Blood and cream would be my colors. What the hell was wrong with me? Anyway…

When Donny went off to college, we “agreed” to see other people. My first “date” after that was with a guy who had been one of Donny’s friends. We’ll call him Mark. While on this most-platonic of dates ('cause it turns out Mark feels weird about taking out his friend's quasi-girlfriend), Mark lets it slip that Donny wasn’t a model boyfriend one night at a party he attended while I was out of town. Now, I wasn’t necessary shocked by this information since I’d always been jealous of the way this one girl acted around him. But I still called him and left him a teasing message on his dorm answering machine saying I thought he was scum. (He, he, I had such a mature sense of humor.  Clever, witty, subtle.  That's me.)  

He calls me back around – oh, must have been roughly 2 am – and proceeds to apologize for cheating on me with some totally different girl.

“OMG! [Except back then I would've actually said the words "Oh my God" because we didn't speak in abbreviations.]  That’s not even who I was talking about."  

“I know," he says.  "Let me finish."

He then proceeds to tell me about the SIX different girls he cheated on me with during the time we were together in high school. SIX!!! Tiger Woods had nothing on Donny (except Tiger actually picked attractive girls, where Donny did not, which I considered an even bigger insult.)

The thing I remember most about the next morning is having eyes so red and puffy that my history teacher asked me if I was okay. Just let me sink down farther in my chair and die of embarrassment.

In retrospect, the truly embarrassing part is that I took him back. It was like his confession rekindled his interest in me and we started exclusively dating again. Except for girl number SEVEN. I couldn’t expect him not to have just one more little relapse, right? So what if she was my friend and debate partner? And I was freakin' on my way to visit him when it happened?

Boy – I’m glad I typed this because it reminds me just how naive and love-struck teens are. And yet, it was the most real feelings I'd ever had for someone not related to me by blood.  The type infatuation that threatens to drag you down into a whirlpool if anything goes wrong. That's the emotion we need to tap into as YA authors!

So that's me and my pathetic, deluded, naive, love-struck, forgiving heart.  What about you?  What's your heartbreak story?  Did anyone else think their first love would last forever?

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]theget_upkid111 wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2010 01:35 am (UTC)
That is a sad, sad story. The saddest part is that I know girls who are making the same mistake. From the perspective of a freshman guy, I've come to realize one thing:

Junior/Senior guys who go for freshman girls are generally jerks.

I've always been guarded when it comes to girls. I force myself not to be naive, that I'm not really in love, that it's a relationship with a small wick, but I was made a fool once.

The girl was everything I wanted: she loved reading and writing, she was funny, we could have intelligent debates, and she had the prettiest green eyes anywhere.

Long story, short: she dumped me after six months. I was crushed. I haven't been in a relationship since.

High school love is a strange potion. You can convince yourself that it's meaningless, that it's only a fling, but that never stops it from hurting.

Oh, and BTW, I came across your blog through Twitter, specifically a re-tweet by Megan Curd. If you were curious.
[info]jessieharrell wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2010 12:51 pm (UTC)
I'll have to thank Megan for sending you my way. She's great!
I love your phrase "strange potion" - sounds like you have a gift for writing. What is your WIP about?
Sorry to hear about your own heartbreak. There's probably a story thread in there somewhere once the sting goes away.
If you know any girls who could benefit from my story, please send them over. The truly sad part is that it gets worse before it gets better. I forgave him again after #7 - 'cause the phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater" wasn't yet embedded in my brain. We got engaged when I was a freshman in college and only THEN did I have the courage to break up with him - 'cause I realized I didn't want to be (a) married IRL or (b) married to him.
Although I doubt anyone in HS would think they're as dumb as I was. And I gotta admit, for a smart chick, I was pretty dumb. I'll blame it on my insecurities...
[info]theget_upkid111 wrote:
Apr. 24th, 2010 12:42 am (UTC)
Thank you for the compliment on my writing! My WIP is a modern-fantasy. I literally just posted an extensive summary on my blog. Feel free to check it out :)

I'll retweet your blog! Hopefully some of my followers will cruise on over here.
[info]lchardesty wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2010 05:06 pm (UTC)
Ah, Jessie. Young love. I fell in love with a guy on an overnight orchestra trip. We just clicked, even though we'd been in orchestra together for three + years at that point. Anyway, I remember the tingly, excited feeling of cuddling with him on the bus, and desperately wanting him to kiss me (if only we had been alone!).

When we arrived back at school, I asked him what the deal was with us (did he want to "go out" with me?!?). He told me he did want to go out with me, but he had asked someone else out right before the trip. *stab* He felt he had to try it with her since he had asked her first. The hardest part was that I could see he wanted me, too (I think he even had tears in his eyes - for reals).

Oh, I was sooooo heartbroken. I couldn't even eat for a week. I remember this freshman boy from orchestra would buy me lunch and try to make me eat (I think he had a crush on me, himself). I pined for him for about a month. I remember he told me that he wasn't sure things were working out with the other girl right before prom, and that he was considering breaking up with her after prom. I later found out that was because she wasn't putting out. Well, she did put out for prom, and he didn't break up with her...she got pregnant.

I still look back on that whole thing as a dodged bomb. What if he had chosen me, and *I* had ended up pg? I met my current (only) husband less than a year later. It would have changed *everything.*
[info]jessieharrell wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2010 05:12 pm (UTC)
Wow - see, I am so convinced that everything happens for a reason and there's just no way to accept that logic when you're in the throws of your teen years.
Things worked out for the best for both of us!
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